Why did the chicken cross the road?



Question:  Why did the chicken cross the road?

 KINDERGARTEN TEACHER:  To get to the other side.

 PLATO:  For the greater good.

 ARISTOTLE:  It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.

 KARL MARX:  It was a historical inevitability.

 TIMOTHY LEARY:  Because that's the only trip the establishment
 would let it take.

 SADDAM HUSSEIN:  This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we
 were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

 JACK NICHOLSON: 'cause it f.........g wanted to.  That's the f.........g reason.

 RONALD REAGAN:  I forget.
 
 CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK:  To boldly go where no chicken has gone
 before.

 HIPPOCRATES:  Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.

 ANDERSEN CONSULTING:  Deregulation of the chicken's side of the
 road  was threatening its dominant market position.  the chicken
 was faced with  significant challenges to create and develop the
 competencies required for the newly competitive market.  Andersen
 Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped
 the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and
 implementation processes.  Using the Poultry Integration Model
 (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies,
 knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken's people,
 processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within
 a Program Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened a
 diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along
 with Anderson consultants with deep skills in the transportation
 industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to
 leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit,
 and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve
 the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and
 implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the
 continuum of poultry cross-median processes.  the meeting was held
 in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful
 environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and
 built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and
 aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and core values.
 This was conducive towards the creation of a total business
 integration solution.  Andersen Consulting helped the chicken change
 to become more successful.

 LOUIS FARRAKHAN:  the road, you see, represents the black man.
 the chicken 'crossed' the black man in order to trample him and keep
 him down.

 MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.:  I envision a world where all chickens
 will be free to cross roads without having their motives called
 into question.

 MOSES:  And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the
 chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road."  And the chicken crossed
 the road, and there was much rejoicing.

 FOX MULDER:  You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How
 many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?

 RICHARD M. NIXON:  the chicken did not cross the road. I repeat,
 the chicken did NOT cross the road.

 MACHIAVELLI:  the point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who
 cares Why? the end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive
 there was.

 JERRY SEINFELD:  Why does anyone cross a road?  I mean,
 Why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, "What the heck was this
 chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway?"

 FREUD:  the fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken
 crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

 BILL GATES:  I have just released the new chicken Office 2000,
 which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your
 important documents, and balance your checkbook.

 OLIVER STONE:  the question is not, "Why did the chicken cross
 the road?" Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same
 time, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken
 crossing?"

 DARWIN:  Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally
 selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to
 cross roads.

 EINSTEIN:  Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved
 beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

 BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.

 RALPH WALDO EMERSON:  the chicken did not cross the road .. it
 transcended it.

 ERNEST HEMINGWAY:  To die.  In the rain.

 COLONEL SANDERS:  I missed one?